Thursday, October 05, 2006

Introducing Mr. Tatin by Laura


The small dim room was lit by a wax candle. I could just make the tiny bald man sitting in front of me.
“What do you want?”
His voice was sharp and penetrating. His words seemed to ring around the room. He was wearing a long black robe with a frightening red cape. His eyes were oily black; suddenly his eyes were blood red. I stepped back in alarm.
“What do you want?” he repeated
“I have come to seek your advice” I whispered trembling. “I’m King Rosha’s brother and I want the throne.” While I waited for his response a black cat sauntered into the room.
Ta faet ore malte halc serw” he whispered to the cat “Cetr mantt reio “. Then he switched back to my tongue
“What you need to do is simple, first you need to lure him into a forest where nobody can see or hear you”, he paused, then continued. “Then dispose of him”
I wasn’t sure if I could do any of that. I looked around the room again and noticed there were pots of queer liquids on a shelf, one had a dead frog in it and another had a butterfly. I had been to every crook, every villain in the kingdom and they all had refused to help me, I had offered gold and silver but they had all refused.
“What about his son?” I said
“The answer will come to you in time” He said softly.
“I want it now!” I demanded.
“I will not give it to you!” He said angrily “By the way, my name is Mr. Tatin”

10 Comments:

At 3:52 AM, Blogger St Flannan's said...

star:Brilliant story!

star:Great discription.

wish:Who is king Rosha?

 
At 3:54 AM, Blogger St Flannan's said...

star I love the pitcher

star I love the story

wish who Is king rosha

 
At 4:42 AM, Blogger St Flannan's said...

starit was a good story with excellent description




star it was very frightening. Horror stories are great.

wish that there was more characters in the story

 
At 4:44 AM, Blogger St Flannan's said...

star:good adjectives.
star:great discription on blood red and frightning red cape.
wish:i would like to read more of yours.

 
At 4:44 AM, Blogger St Flannan's said...

star:good adjectives.
star:great discription on blood red and frightning red cape.
wish:i would like to read more of yours.

 
At 4:44 AM, Blogger St Flannan's said...

star:good adjectives.
star:great discription on blood red and frightning red cape.
wish:i would like to read more of yours.

 
At 6:29 AM, Blogger Killermont Primary School Writing Projects said...

Thank you for the tip about putting in more charaters! Next time I will try harder.

 
At 6:36 AM, Blogger St Flannan's said...

star I liked your part with the very sharp voice.

star I also liked the part when the character sat in the dark

whish use more adjectives in the story

 
At 6:43 AM, Blogger Killermont Primary School Writing Projects said...

Thank you for your useful comment next time I will use more adjectives.

 
At 6:45 AM, Blogger Killermont Primary School Writing Projects said...

Thank you the tip. Next time I will describe my characters more.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home